My Father

When I was born, my Father held me in his hand and looked at me with eyes of love. He saw a small image of himself and said it is good. He saw a hope and future and He gloried in my life. With His other hand, he blessed me and proclaimed me a prince. Oh, the things that we would do together when I was big and strong like Him. What a proud Daddy, He was.
When I was still a babe, He rocked me in his mighty arms. I was never safer than when I was resting in them. He placed me on His chest so I could hear the beat of His heart. Words of wisdom and life He spoke to me, and sang of joys to come. I learn to hear is voice and my face would light up just at its sound. He would kiss my face and I would fall asleep in sweet, sweet peace.
When I was a child, He would call my name and I would come running. I would jump in Daddy’s arms and hug His neck tightly. I knew without a doubt that I was loved and the apple of His eye. I was spoil rotten. It was His delight to bring me new and wonderful gifts each day. I could not wait to see how I would be blessed today. Would He show me a lovely rainbow or take me hear a cricket’s serenade? I would sit in His lap and He would tell me the most wonder stories; how the world was made, the names each of the stars, and how one day everything I saw would be mine to rule. We would go for long walk in the cool of the garden breeze and He taught me the names of everything, and told me the ways of life. His hands and heart were always so gentle and kind. When I stumbled, He would catch me and set my foot back on firm ground. He would kiss my bumps and bruise and they would instantly be healed. If I looked into His eyes, I believed that I could walk on water, because He did.
When I became a teenager, I started listening to my own heart. I did not seek to please Him now, but my own selfish desires. I did not run to his voice, but sought to silent it. I half did what I was told and grumble at having to do that. I rebelled and said I know it all. You have nothing left to teach me. I know better than You what is in my best interest. I want it my way and I want it now. You cannot stop me and I don’t need You anymore. I don’t want Your love and I ran away.
At first, it was fun having no one to tell me what I could and couldn’t do. There were many willing souls to help me spend my time and money. I was free to do all the things that once were forbidden. Then one day I started to notice that the pleasures I treasured were not half as pleasing as one walk in the garden. It was only after they exacted their told of pain and destruction did I understand why they were forbidden. My friends’ advice was not as good as my Fathers. It was only dragging me down into a bottomless pit. I slowly realized that He knew more than I thought. I became sick and weak and there was no one there to comfort me or heal me. I tried to lean on my friends, but they had disappeared, as had all my possessions. No one loved me. As I lay dying, I remember my Father and my heart broke. I regretted all the things I had said and done. I prayed a silent pray if only I could go home for one last time, then I close my eyes to sleep and its temporary escapes for pain.
When I awoke, I thought that I was dreaming for I saw my Daddy’s face, his hand reached down to me and He said, “Get up it time to come home.” My heart song once more for joy, I was going home. Not once did He condemn or belittle me. He never said, “I told you so, you should have listened to me, you got what you deserved ungrateful child.” My wounds He bound and He carried me back home. Once again, He called me His pride and joy. All was forgiven as if nothing ever happen. He was still my Father and He still loved me somehow. However, I noticed now His hands and feet were scared with holes and another was in His side. I asked what had happen and He said it was just the cost of love and that all was right again. Another told me just what He had done, and for the first time I knew the cost of the pain I caused and just how great is a Father’s love. I wept for my heart was broken and I prayed for the strength and wisdom never to break His heart again.

Kathy Barnes
Copyright 6-13-09