First Love

I remember the first time I fell in love.
He was the victorious white knight come to rescue me.
All the universe revolved around him, the sun rose and set at his word.
The light he gave was so beautiful the stars bowed their heads in shame. He was above all others.
I could not believe how lucky I was, that he choose me to love.
He was a prince; any maiden would have gladly fallen at his feet.
Yet somehow, I caught his eye.
The price he paid for me would have made you think I was a queen.
The gift he gave me was more precious than all the diamonds in the world.
I could not wait to spend time with my beloved.
I would make excuses not to leave, even when I should.
I waited eagerly for his return and for the next time
I would hear his voice or see his face.
I searched for him afraid of missing even a minute with him.
I would spend time just thinking of ways to please him.
What he would like, came before what I needed.
I did not have to ask what he liked, I knew.
I went out of the way to bless him with it.
Even if all we did was sit and hold each other, it was precious time.
We did not have to use words to speak.
We could finish each other’s thought, each other’s sentences.
Our hearts were one, Our souls were one.
Without the other one, we were incomplete.
How did we ever live apart from each other?
When I could not spend a day, an hour, with him I felt cheated.
I clung to his every word, as if it was more precious than gold.
I treasured every love letter he wrote, and read them over and over.
To hear him say “I love you,” meant more to me that life itself.
I knew beyond any doubt that we would be together for all eternity.
Nothing was capable of keeping us apart, this was true love.
They would write sonnets about this love. It would never fade.

Then one day I realized that I was spending less and less time with him.
It had happened so slowly that I had not been aware of it.
His wonderful love taken for granted, beginning to fade away.
My eyes no longer searched for him, or sought his face.
My heart no longer jumped with joy, when he came near.
His letters were a chore to read and I often forgot.
I was too busy to sit and just be still with him.
He would speak, but it would go in one ear and out the other.
Pleasing him instead of me was far from my mind.
We would schedule time to be together, to share our hearts.
I would say, “Do I have to go?” and look for excuses not to meet.
My heart turned to another, and I went in search of other pleasures
Breaking my vow of love and tearing my true love’s heart to pieces.
His love was so great that he let me walk away,
He would not hold me against my will.
His tears filled the oceans as he called out, “Come back.”
In time, I realized just what I had given up,
That what I had run after, would never satisfy me.
As I lay in utter, despair, grieving over my choices
My true love came and put his arms around me once again
And said “Come home. I still love you.”
Not believing my ears, I ask, “You would take me back again
knowing all that I have done?”
Christ answered, “Yes, nothing can ever stop me from loving you.
It who I am, not who you are or what you done. Here, my bride, put on my robe and my crown. I have made a mansion for you. Come and reign with me.”

Kathy Barnes
Copyright 09-05-08