An Angry God

My heart was black and evil, filled with every sick and vile thing.
In its core was rebellion against it maker.
The clay pot said unto its creator that He was imperfect and defected
That it knew best its purpose and function.
It refused to hear wisdom leaning instead to its own understanding.
It plugged it ear so it could not hear the gentle voice of correction.
It declined to see the truth and called God a liar
And the blind declared I cannot see. God is not there.
Desires and feeling were paramount over obedience.
Trusting in false idols the sinful heart lifted it hand
And an angry voice against the Almighty.

When sin had run it ugly course an angry God responded from heaven.
God’s voice thundered across the heavens like a roaring river
A harsh ear piercing vociferous sound that was deafening
The sky parted and His hands threw down lighten bolts and hail.
To wake me from my slumber and stupor.
Will the faultfinder contend with the Almighty?
Will you condemn Me that you may be justified?
Can you save yourself by your own hand?

You call me Lord and Master, King forever more
Then You make yourself to be equal with me.
You rail at me because you are not me and cannot do what I can.
I am a jealous God, and you can serve no one but me.
You chase after other gods and complain that I do not bless thee.
You are an arrogant, ungrateful, prideful, deceitful, disrespectful child.
You call me a liar and impotent when I have not changed.
I do not sleep or slumber. I have not lost my might.
What I have done at the past I can still do today.
I can still control the world and all within it with a simple word.


You do not even know who I am.
I am the Great I am. Not I was or Who will be.
You cannot find me in the past failures or past hurts. I am not there.
You trade today joy for tomorrow worries and sorrows.
Then you are depressed because I am not there either.

Where is your faith and trust? Do you not know my heart by now?
Can you not remember all that I have done for you?
I am not as Earthly fathers that have fail you and left you alone.
I have come in search of you to bring you life abundantly.
I am with you whatever trials that come and carry you through.
I have not left you to bear the burden alone.
You were never meant to bear it with your own strength.
Are you holy like me or are your desires selfish and prideful?

God’s voice came from heaven as fierily storm.
Knocking me unto the ground by it might.
Fear, awe, dread and apprehension filled my every fiber
For I could not stand before His holiness.
The light that radiated from his face blinded me and pierced my heart.
In the twinkling of an eye, I saw my hearts true form
The corrupted black and dying thing is was.
I tried to run away and hide, but could not escape.
For I could see His disdain and contempt of my sin.
I desired to clean myself up, but I could not.
I cried woe is me, woe is me for I am impure.
His repulsion from sin so great, my Father could not look at me.

He demand of me answers to His questions.
How do you breathe life into clay?
Where was I when I was formed in my mother womb?
How many are the number of my days here on Earth?
How many hairs are found upon my head?
How many steps will I take in my lifetime?
How many drops of water are in the sea?
How many stars are there in the heaven?
What was the name of the first man that discovered the wheel?
What are the names of all my great- great-grandchildren?
I buried my face into the ground for I had nothing to say.

He told me to speak and make an angel and order it around
To cause the mountain to come up by my desire.
With my words to declare the laws of nature
And show me the book in which my law it is written.
To lift my hand and stop the sun from shining.
To blow my breath across the land and form winds.
He told me to stop the hands of time.
He demanded the keys to Hell and Death.
I trembled before His presence knowing my powerless condition.

With scorn He demands to know what is wisdom made of.
And command I list it contents one by one if I can.
He requires to know, who should be born a king
And who should be born of humble estate and why.
Which people should rule over whom and for how long?
If the rabbit always lives, how is the fox fed?
Just how many tears should his children cry before He answered?
When one cries to live and their enemy their death who does he hear?
Just how big a mess would the world be in if all prayers
Were answered Yes!
Why should my sin be forgiven, but not my neighbors?
I have no answer for I do not know
And I coward beneath His questions.

Last He command that I explain my right to judge.
Have I from the beginning of time never told a lie?
Have I never hurt another to get my own way?
Have I always honored my parents, spouse, and brothers?
Have I never broken any rule or law no matter how small?
Have I never lost my temper without cause?
Have I never jump to a conclusion that was wrong?
Have I never fail to see the results of my actions?
I die inside for I know the answer to these questions.
How do I claim the blood of one that I have denied?

The voice of God comes seeking you with a thunderous boom
You now remember just who and what you are
And just who and what God is.
There is no joy to stand before Him.
There is no excuse that can wash away the shame.
There is no way to turn back the hand of time.
And without a doubt you know that you deserve death,
The terror, horror, and torture of Hell for all eternity.

He speaks one last time and you can yet choose to turn around.
If you repeat and ask forgiveness, I will still show you my love.
My son took your sin, your shame, your death to the cross.
By his name, his blood I will wash away your sin.
I will give you a new heart and robes of righteousness.

You fall on your face and ask not for you life
But that your name not be taken from the book of life.
What you have done and what it cost fracture your heart
Melting away impurities that have polluted it.
Grieve fills your soul, and guilt weights heavily
So you beg once more for forgiveness.
The Father puts His arms around you and holds you tight.
It is over. I remember it no more.
But you hope that you will never forget it lessons
Or have to repeat its process for you know why you love Him
Because He first loved you and still does.

Kathy Barnes
Copyright 5-11-09