I Met A Man

Have you ever meet a man that changed your whole life, turning everything upside down and inside out? Do you know someone that can turn pain and sadness into joy and hope from you just being around them? Have you ever been with one whom once you met changed the way you thought about yourself, others and everything around you? Do you know someone that lifts you up and cause you to believe that you can be more than you believed possible? Have you ever meet someone with the power to change your life forever for the better? Do you know someone that will never give up on you even when the world has written you off? Have you ever been around someone that knows your heart better than you do yourself? Do you know someone knows everything about you but still loves you even when you cannot love yourself? Have you ever meet someone that will love you unconditionally and excessively beyond anything that you could have dreamed off, when others said that you where unlovable? Do you know someone who would lay down their life for you, when other have say it was better if you had never been born? I do for I met a man called Jesus one day and I have never been the same since.
There was no great birth announcement in the papers when I was born. I was just another kid from the wrong side of the tracks. Even my grandfather was not willing to admit that I was his. I grew and worked hard to please and win the love and approval of my mother, but never did. The hate and bitterness that filled her life spilled over into mine. She could not love herself, so she had nothing to give me but hate. My father was hardworking, but unstable and insecure. Having never had a father of his own, he did not know how to be one. My brother used me as a punching bag to work out his frustrations. I did not grow up with friends; they were not allowed to come over. Even if they had been you did not want other to know the shame and madness that you lived in. You raised yourself and your parents and became more like them than you ever wanted. The choice I had made in my life trying to numb the pain only lead to more abuse. This is where Jesus found me broken, bleeding out, and dying with no hope or future.
Jesus was a strange man and nothing that I expected. He did not come to a palace as a mighty king with majestic purple flow robes and gem studded crown, but as a humble child without a bed to lay his head. He did not come demanding to be served, but as a servant. He had the right for He was holy, just and fair. He laid aside His power, majesty and glory as God to come as my equal so that He could know my pain. He did not look at me with discuss and contempt because I lost, broken, bruised, and bleeding. Instead, His eyes were filled with compassion and His hand reached out to bind and heal my wounds. He took my wounds and sickness into his own body. I received a newness of life while His perfect body was wound and spilled out for me. He did not come to list all the ways that I have failed and screwed up my life. The count would have been as numerous as the stars. Instead, He said, “Follow me and I will show you green pastures, and where to stop and rest that it may go well with you.” He did not scold or try to shame me for all the times I was less than perfect. He picked my bag of shame and put it on His shoulders saying I had carried it long enough. He did not give me a set of rules that I must follow to the letter in order to win His acceptance. I would have never been able to meet them, so He met them himself. All I had to do was choose to give up my sin and ask forgiveness. My tears He wiped away and put into a bottle, then He took out another bottle and anointed me with joy. With tears in His eyes and a breaking heart He said, “I know that you have been told that you are not loved, but it was a lie. You are a precious one of a kind treasure that is greatly love and wanted. So much so that I would lay down my life for you even if you never choose to love me. I will never abandon you.”
I choose that day to believe in that simple man and I have never regretted it. I choose to believe that I was loved, and that I could love. I choose to believe that I could make a difference and I could do what He said. No, the road has not always been easy and I still temperately fail, but He has made the life worth living and I know He will do the same for you if you but ask.

Kathy Barnes
Copyright 4-1-2010